The League of English Majors vs. The Nazi Zombies From Planet X

Spent yesterday with ayrynkat. We shopped State St. and bought nothing, then had a picnic lunch out on the capital. After lunch she went and visited Andrea Cox, our former FYI teacher who's now working for Tomo Therapy (another place I'm applying to), while I went back home and worked on resumes. After chaufering her off to abmann I went to my first Katori Shinto Ryu class.

The sword work is very different than anything I've done before. By which I mean it's completely opposite to the swordwork in aikido. In aikido you're supposed to cut with your elbows, in Katori you cut with your wrists. In aikido you're supposed to stay relaxed at all times, in Katori you cut by gripping tightly. In aikido your movements are circular, in Katori they're linear. I'm having to learn a lot of new body patterns. Should be worth it though. The teacher is absolutely amazing (I say teacher because the head sensei is off getting foot surgery but Paul was a Katori sensei in Utah before he moved here. Apparently this is the only Katori dojo in the US with two ranked senseis). He's this skinny guy in glasses, really looks like a geek, extremely warm, and then he picks up a sword and looks like death incarnate. Good class though I'm fairly certain it's the reason my arms are sore now.

Afterwards I headed over to ABM's to hang with Ayrn, ABM, and lady_fox. It was a fun night.

From jinxmurphy.

He says if you've seen more than 90 you have no life. Let's see how I do.

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While I'm no longer serving I did get this delightful rant in a link from eloael. Pay attention.

First of all, understand something. Unless you knew them before they began bartending, bartenders are not your friends. Think of us like dancers. We are there for one reason only. To take your money. I will act buddy-buddy with you. Pretend you are the funniest fucking guy on Earth. But I don’t give a shit whether you live or die. You are my income. I will forget about you a nanosecond after you leave my bar. You pay me, and I move on to the next mark. I am not there to make friends. I am there to pay my rent. And if letting you think that I’m your bud will get you to tip me more…. Then I’m your new best friend. Until you stand up. Then you’re nobody again. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. Unless you’re a woman. In that case, I’m after two things. Your money, and… take a guess. I don’t care if you’re with your boyfriend. When he goes to the bathroom, you might as well have come in alone.

Now to the real point of this rant. The above sentiments come from one thing only. Customers SUCK. ALL customers suck. For what we put up with, none of you tip us enough. None of you stupid fuckers realize exactly what it takes for two bartenders to keep their customers happy. I work in a restaurant; so consequently, I am making drinks for 200 other people at the same time. Yet you dumb-ass fucking drunks will bitch and moan about how much ice is in your drink. Or you can’t taste the liquor. FUCK YOU. Pay me and shut up. I have too many other people to worry about.

Now, there are hotels near my job, so we get a lot of people from the Midwest and overseas into my bar. To all of those idiot living in Europe and Mid-America…. LEARN HOW TO TIP YOU HICKS AND EUROTRASH!!!! Leaving me 30 cents on a round is just going to get you a longer wait for your next round. I loooooooove making people wait. It pisses them off to no end. The only thing that makes my job worthwhile is the petty revenge I get to take out. But I’ll get into my revenges in a sec. Just a last word to the Hicks and Trash…. In an urban part of the US, you tip at least a dollar a round. And that’s even low. But it’s acceptable. Taking notes, hicks? You cheap fucking rubes. I know the cost of living is very low where you’re from, but if you can’t afford to pay for a vacation to the big city… then don’t come. You’re not welcome.

Mmmmm…. Revenge. What do I do when someone pisses me off? Well, the best thing is cutting someone off for no reason. If you even vaguely insult me, I’ll cut you off and kick you out. If you get slobbering drunk, I’ll cut you off and kick you out. And my word is the last word. My manager can’t override me. Either learn how to drink, or learn how to be polite. My word is the last word. Ha-fucking-ha. Another method of revenge is your drink. Piss me off, I’ll water you down. Complain about it, and I’ll cut you off. Ha-ha. Fuck you. And god forbid you order food, and then proceed to piss me off. I won’t even get into what I do there. Suffice it to say that if you’re ordering food… be EXTRA nice to me. I have complete control over your digestive tract. Be nice, or else. The most satisfying bit of revenge, though, is ignoring you. I love that. And again, if you bitch about it, out you go.

And that’s about it. Just remember… your bartender can make your night great, or I can make your night very short. It’s up to you. Now, all this being said, if you are one of those very very rare people who actually tip well, then I’ll be looking out for you. I’ll buy you a couple of rounds. I’ll pour heavy. I’ll pour light. Whatever. Just never, EVER say this phrase: “Just do your job”. No no no. You say that phrase, and my job suddenly includes kicking your ass out. I don’t care if you haven’t had a drink. I can lie and say that you smelled of liquor when you came in. I could say you’re already drunk. Once I cut you off, that’s it. Get your things and get out. HaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And always remember kiddies… it takes 47 muscles to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to raise your arm and bitch-slap that motherfucker.

Oh, and check out that link. Everything people say is true.

Sure, let's try it.

From me_actor_ug:

Open your music player. Grab a handful of songs and reword the titles like below, or as you wish. Post. Enjoy.

Oh yeah, and try and guess them too. Good luck.

1. Supernatural male homosapien.
2. Items mutually engaged in the previous temperate season.
3. Final movement to music. Last Dance guessed by vicalis
4. Child's entertainment device composing warriors. Toy Soldiers guessed by me_actor_ug
5. Sixteenth-state ballroom dance.
6. The person that I am has a desire for the person that is you.
7. Idealized location and state of being made visibile by illumination from the car's display. Paradise by the Dashboard Light guessed by moocowrich
8. Compelled to seek out the stacato beat.
9. Heavens of a primary color other than red or yellow. Blue Skies guessed by vicalis
10. Resperate (the hour of Fu Leng)