December 26th, 2005


Real Update

Holidays have been mostly pleasant. They've been busy too, involving a great deal of running around.

Got together with Danfish and people to play D&D Friday night. Ended up ditching D&D and played Paranoia instead. 'Twas fun. Met Dan's new friend, Melissa. She seems cool. Now I'm trying to organize an l5r mini-campaign for break. And scrounge players. Saturday we had guests and then I went over to tiredofwired's around midnight to hang out. Too many people and not enough Wired. We'll get time together Thursday at least.

We visited family friends tonight. It was mostly dull but bearable. There were small children running around which irritated me but not as much as normal. Food was tasty though. Must learn to make pineapple with vanilla bean.

After siad gathering I headed over to Danfish's. d33pthought and rockbitergrr were there too. I'd forgotten The Gamers so we'll do that another time. Instead Danfish and D33pthought made their l5r characters. Now we just need two more and we'll have a party together.

Came home. Intended to go downstairs and watch Dance With Me but wound up taking care of online errands and then, just when I was finished and about to head down I wound up talking to Becca, my old highschool girlfriend. It actually got over the awkward stage extremely quickly and is a very nice, if not particularly deep, conversation. Emphatically not romantic but it's working.

And then drama! Online drama! Online LJ drama! My first!


If you know the drama I'm referring to this post is for you. If you don't then it doesn't concern you and you can move on.

This is not an apology. This is not a defense. This is an explanation.

Yes I called someone a name. Was it immature? Possibly. Was it done in anger? Without question. Do I regret it? I regret one and only one of the consequences that resulted from it but frankly I'm not that surprised at it. Honesty may not always be the best policy, and being upfront is certainly not always the best policy, but they are methods of conduct I believe in. People talk about being sick of people speaking behind their backs and not knowing what someone really thinks of them. Congratulations: someone avoids that circuitious social bullshit and gets blasted for it.

Let's talk about those words.

stu·pid ( P ) Pronunciation Key (stpd, sty-)
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake

bitch ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bch)
A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
A lewd woman.
(source :

The person in question is, without question being slow to understand. She may not agree and that is a respectable position but she is showing no signs of comprehension or a desire to understand people's points of view, merely to attack them - personally - for views she disagrees with. This is a poor decision, foolish, and careless.

I'd say it also makes her spiteful and overbearing, and the use of vulgarity for no rhetorical purpose other than to make her attacks personal is lewd.

So yes, she is a stupid bitch.

My decision to call her one was not one made lightly but was a response to what I perceived and still perceive as a baseless attack. I fully acknowledge that it is petty of me to respond to an insult with an insult and in most cases I will avoid doing so. Why did I choose not to do so here? Because this is yet another instance of her being a bad friend not only to me but to numerous other people who she was supposedly friends with. Her friendship is not something I want or care about at this point and as such I have no objection to being pointed in my reasons for not wanting to be friends with her. She may have been sweeping in her personal attacks. Mine was meant for just one person.

But why is that not okay? Why have only two other people bothered to call her on her vulgarity in a frenzied attack on people she had no justification to hurt but a justifiable (and for those of you who disagree, please note the difference between "justified" and "justifiable." I respect that many of you will disagree with me) insulting epithet at the end of what has so far been more or less universally acknowledged as a reasonable argument provokes such an outcry?

You may disagree with how I framed my argument but that does not negate the argument itself. If I am attacked I have three options: ignore it, meet the attacker on his or her terms, or meet the attacker on my terms. I chose the second.

If you don't want to be called a stupid bitch don't act like one.

Probably more later. I have company now.