November 30th, 2005


Let's Talk About Rape

So rockbitergrr recently posted Collapse )

Now I'm against rape as much as the next guy. Probably more than. Possibly more than the next woman. But this bothers me.

This is a disavowal of responsibility. Yes we should be educating people (notice I say "people" and not "men") that it is not acceptable to take sexual advantage of someone without their consent, but that's not how this starts. The bottom almost gets it right. Don't tell a woman how she could have avoided it (and what the fuck is with the "it?" This is a serious topic; let's not treat it like a dirty word and we're in third grade). Don't imply that being raped was the victim's fault (not "the woman's," "the victim's." Men can be raped too), don't allow other people to get away with rape, "don't perpectuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself."

Except they fuck up that last line. Why does that only apply to rapists? Yes, as a human being you are not a slave to your urges, physical or psychological, and should be able to control yourself not to rape someone (and while we're at it, why does this imply that all men are rapists waiting to happen?). But as a human being you also have a responsibility to protect yourself.

Why does this letter start with treating learning self-defense or keeping an eye on your drink as bullshit?

Yes women don't have the sole responsibility of making sure they're not raped but these are basic precauations. I put "keep an eye on your drink" on par with "don't walk down a dark alley in a major city late at night." It's just common sense. It's never someone's fault they were raped, but neither is it someone's fault if they're mugged or murdered or the victim of a drunk driver. Everyone has a responsibility to do what they can to minimize certain risks

Personally I think everyone should take a self-defense class, regardless of gender. If it were up to me people would take aikido from kindergarten until they graduated highschool, if only because it is an effective form of self-defense that's almost impossible to turn into a form of assault.

This letter is telling people that you don't have to take care of yourself because it's not your fault. That's a mistake, and potentially a deadly one. It may not be your fault but you need to take care of yourself anyway.

I once read that a woman once asked a Chinest kung fu master what she should do if someone tried to rape her. His advice was that such assailant would probably be stronger than her, and would certainly be dangerous so the best thing she could do is try to enjoy the inevitable. I like the American advice better: kick the bastard in the balls.

If you don't want to be raped, don't trust a rapist to stop himself. Stop him yourself because you may be the only one who can. Or will.

I'm not turning on the comments screening function but please be serious about this (you know who you are).

Makes me kind of happy

Action film writer
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