August 30th, 2005



There was registration today. I got everything I wanted except script analysis. After hearing that I was a triple english major the prof offerred to bump me into it over the huge waiting list but I'm afraid I might have to drop something so I declined. Instead I picked up non-Euclidean (which I'd hoped for) but then I made Lisa sad by dropping Making Up and Making Real. I still feel bad about that. I'm sorry, Lisa!

The afternoon was mostly spent playing video games. There was picnic dinner down by the bookstore which naturally was both insufficient and unhealthy. I can't figure out if it's better to eat a little bad stuff for dinner or not eat anything (I want with the former; the questoion's purely academic) but I'll survive. Went into the bookstore with people and got my book lists. Happily only six books which I Big Wordsed for eighty-seven books. Cheap last semester. Go me.

After dinner theljparadox put on Boondock Saints in the lounge. I stayed for about forty-five minutes than went dancing down by the river. Sadly very few people came, but miaret was there along with chuzhuzhe, the Chaveys and some random Beloiters I'd never met. Dancing was loads of fun. I've said it again and will repeat it as necessary: there is no high on God's green earth like dancing your heart out to the entirety of "Sing! Sing! Sing!" Also chuzhuzhe helped fix my rhumba which was greatly appreciated. Four beats, not three. Good to know.

Deb is back.

There was good Family Guy hang out in the lounge. Yes it's TV watching but it's really chatting with people with TV in the background so that was good. Then it was dinering with mythic, dream_speaker, edithhoresless, jinxmurphy, resplendant_sun, and Bryce. First diner trip of the year. Much fun.

not_a_girl came by a few minutes ago with my l5r core. We talked very briefly about larp. I'm sad that I won't be able to continue with it after winter. I've considered driving down from Madison to continue but I don't want to pull that faux-graduate shit. By then it'll be time to move on. Hell, it's time now, I just don't have the credits. This doesn't seem as scary as it did a few nights ago. Thanks for calming me down, Zee. You have no idea how soothing that was.

I have, however, decided to run an l5r tabletop campaign for this semester. Not that I don't like larp, but I love l5r combat and it's got great rules, both of which implement better at the table than in larp.

Edit: Just looking over how many blue person links there were in this course reminded me why I love being back here. Look at all da people!

Famous Blue Raincoat, Tamir

Found this song on my desktop leftover from last semester. I'm not posting it for the reasons some of you may think. Well, maybe Hunter. For the record, the singer is a woman.

It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you're building your house deep in the desert
Are you living for nothing now, hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night when you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you, you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
But she never turned up, I mean Lili Marlene

And you treated some woman to a flake of your life
And when she got home she was nobody's wife.
Well I see you there with a rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see Jane's awake
She sends her regards.

And what can I tell you oh what can I tell you
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad that you stood in my way.

And if you ever come by here, be it for Jane or for me
I want you to know your enemy's sleeping, I want you to know your woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never really tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night when you planned to go clear

Sincerely, a friend

I've been playing it on repeat for about twenty minutes. The reasons have nothing to do with the subject of the song, but memory. Abrupt subject change ahead.

I met with Tamir today. He wants to use a screenplay of mine for his thesis at UCLA. Basically it would mean putting La Maupin through UCLAs screenwriting program, getting back comments from some extremely well-qualified film professoinals, doing a bunch of revisions, and having a trussed up screenplay at the end with a nifty marketing package and someone to tout it around. It seems like a good idea, though I want to check with my agent first. Here's hoping.

So Pretty

I was talking to Lisa today and she commented on my hair and the spikiness. I've gotten a lot of mixed opinions about the hair (I'd appreciate honest feedback; if you like it say so, if you don't say so, post annonymous if you feel you need to for honesty) but I hadn't expected to have this conversation with a prof. The conversation went into the area of when you buy beauty products that give you perfect hair or perfect skin what you're really doing is saying that you're flawwed to begin with. At least that's where Lisa went. I don't buy it.

When I started metrofying over the summer I didn't do it out of a sense of disgust for my appearance. I did it to change my appearance. Change is not necessarily a reflection of value judgement. I simply wanted something different, and yes that something is higher-maintenance than what I had before, and yes it's closer to what society refers to as an attractive image. But it's also what I envision as an attractive image. For the first time in my life I feel handsome when I look in a mirror, not because some girl is telling me "this cream makes your skin beautiful," (and for the record it was a man, and a heterosexual man at that, who hooked me up with product)but because I decide that I like the way my skin looks with the cream. I've gotten shit more often than not when people find out the shit I put on my face, body, and hair. That's fine, that's not why I do it.

not_a_girl is one of the best dressers I know, not because she conforms to what's in style or even because she has her own particular style, but because she dresses the way she likes and makes it look good. Dress Up Tuesday is one of the best things I've ever heard of because she and lacrimawanders decided to not just beautifuly their appearances but to enjoy and celebrate them. One could do worse than to emulate that attitude.

One doesn't need a magazine to say what's attractive anymore than one needs an art critic to decide if one likes a painting. How often have you disagreed with the critics? How often have you disagreed with your friends. If independence is established than happenstance conformity is not problematic.

Tell me what you think of the hair because I truly want to know, and yes it may change in response to positive or negative feedback, but those who knew me over the summer will know that I was uncertain about spiking it to begin with. But whatever I do shall be my own decision.