July 10th, 2005


Dancing, Bar Stuff, Robyn, Cryptic Regret

This post is going to be rather incoherent. Don't read it if that bothers you.

I went dancing tonight. It was a lot of fun but I had to leave early to avoid passing out. Apparently dancing when you haven't eaten in thirty-six hours and have a torn ligament is something of a bad idea. At least after realizing this I stopped feeling bad that I wasn't on my game tonight. Now I just feel bad that I was a moron. I went home and ate soup. Soup is good.

In completely unrelated news, the first of the bar stuff came today. This includes all my sundry goods, including small and large shakers, a mixing glass, muddling spoon, strainer, and quick pour (why does that look misspelled no matter how I write it?) bottle spouts.

Earlier today I called Robyn with the intention of bothering her at work, but Caitlin and Fro were already bothering her at work. This brought about a wave of homesickness. I really want to be back in Beloit, and that makes me really worried about graduation and building a life outside of Beloit. The worst part about a December graduation is the feeling like you're going out into the world alone.

This part is cryptic. Deal with it. Last night I told someone something that happened four years ago that still haunts me. It's not something I've told anyone before because it's probably one of the biggest guilt complexes I have despite the fact I know it's not my fault, but it continues to influence how I view and deal with the world, how I treat my friends, and who I want to be. Memory is an interesting thing, especially when combined with guilt. Nothing I do can ever make up for what happened. Nothing will ever change the fact that I wasn't there when I needed to be or that I hurt someone I care about because I was too blind to see their pain. All of this came up last night and has been building in me since then. I don't know how to deal with these feelings except to repress it like I had been, but I don't want to do that again, and I don't want to simply keep it out until time scars it over. It's strange, I wasn't even the one hurt and still it hurts me.

Everything I've Learned, I've Learned From D&D

I was re-reading some posts and Slick had urged me to do this some time back. Enjoy.

- One should never spend four hours gaming with someone one wouldn't spend four hours with socially.

- Even the worst circumstances in the world are only a +4 difficulty modifier.

- Don't be afraid to retry. A d20 has a lot of variation for luck.

- For that matter don't be afraid to try in the first place. Even death can be fixed by ninth level.

- Never size someone up by what they're wearing. The difference between a monk and a sorcerer isn't apparent until you're in the center of a fireball or have a foot up your ass.

- Barmaids and dwarves do not mix.

- Don't try to understand everything in life the first time through. There's a reason supplements exist.

- Develop your mind to its fullest potential, even if it means buying the psionics handbook.

- A time stop spell is a poor substitute for solid planning.

- Luck exists, but so does skill, intelligence, and courage.

- Don't fear size modifiers. They just make dragons easier to hit.

- It's not the number of hit points that counts, it's the size of the will save modifier.

- There's always a way to take it down. No one has a good fortitude, reflex, and will save. Except for monks but their ability scores are terrible.

- Elves are not nearly as cool as they should be. This is why they work for Santa Claus.

- Don't be so destructive. Improved Sunder is useless after fourth level.

- Don't fear a huge warrior in spiked armor carrying a hundred swords. Fear the old, short man in plain robes and carrying a hundred empty scabbards.

- Life should have surprises. Don't read all the GM's supplements.

- Be courteous to others. If the GM takes the time to write you a campaign guide read it. Or if it's over five pages, tell the GM in advance that you won't read it.