June 23rd, 2005


Nope, I was wrong.

I thought the poetry phase was over. It seems I was wrong. On the plus side it does seem to be getting less angsty, though it still has a ways to go before I make anything public, but it's nice to find a type of writing I thought closed to me, well, isn't.

Tonight was good. I made tasty fish with Reed and then had a good walk around South Street, and then got to hear good Irish music with Reed and Adam. Traffic was not backed up and, freshly motivated by the latest LJ meme, I enjoyed listening to Billy Joel all the way home. Everyone should go download "Christie Lee" right now. This may be the best song ever written. Go right now, I'll wait.

If anyone is going to be in the Philadelphia area this coming Wednesday (the 29th) and is over 21, from 6:00-10:00 I'm bartending at Grape Street in Manyunk. Say you're with the bartending school to dodge the cover charge. We've got $2 beers, single-alcohol drinks, and mixed shots, $5 call drinks, and $7 martinis. You should come by, it'll be fun.

It feels like there's something I should say here, though I've no idea what it is. Nothing else happened tonight, no realizations were come to, and I've nothing to rant or rave about. Nonetheless it feels like something happened recently and I should talk about it, but that's difficult when I don't know what "it" is. If anyone has any suggestions they'd be appreciated.
  • Current Music
    Christie Lee (Billy Joel)

More Roleplaying Than You Can Shake a Plot-Stick At

Today started off poorly. I was up far too early for a job interview that turned out to be much closer to my house than I thought it was, so I ended up losing an unnnecessary half hour of sleep to just waiting around. Then I went to the job interview, it started out very well, and then they found out I was only available for the summer so that was that. Then I went into work and waited for an hour for people to show up. That was irritating.

Now here's where the day gets significantly better.

I'd dressed nicely for the interview as I am wont to do. Good impressions are important. For various reasons, mostly having to do with laziness and saving gas, I decided not to go back to my house and change after the interview but just head to work in a dress shirt, slacks, and a tie. Not to toot my own horn, but I looked pretty sharp. Given that it's only in about the past year I've become comfortable with my own image, this made me feel pretty good.

So I'm feeling good, I'm walking into class, and there's a swagger in my step. What's that doing there? I realize that I feel confident, not just about bartending or my appearance, but myself. I'm projecting this image of success, or professionalism, of somebody who knows where they are and what they're doing, and it's convincing me of this. It doesn't matter how other people read it, I actually feel better about myself. I start the morning's review sheet for yesterday's material and ace it in about two minutes. I know how today's going to go.

When class starts we practice some drinks. I'm good. Hell, I'm on fire. Yes I make some mistakes but they don't slow me down and they're fixed easily enough. We learn some new drinks, same deal. Then our first roleplaying session starts. I and three other students stay behind the bar as bartenders while the rest of the class socializes, orders drinks, and we make and ring up their orders. I know it's just a role but it feels comfortable. I schmooze, I make small talk, I'm charming. My drinks come out great, people laugh. It's fun. Then we break for lunch. For the second day in a row I eat with Kerri, Hedley, and Josh. I'm pretty quiet at lunch though I make good small talk.

Then we head back to school. The next group steps behind the bar and we play customers. I'm feeling good enough with my role as a sharp-dressed, suave, successful professional that I easily adjust that role into a bar patron. I chitchat with the bartender and the customers like I would do in a real conversation at an actual bar. It's roleplaying, it's larp, I'm used to it. I'm chatting with Kerri, asking her about herself, school, swimming, her interests, dancing. Our characters by each other drinks. My character is flirting, her character is flirting back. My character asks the bartender for a pen and gets her character's phone number. Except it's her real phone number. Then it really hits me: I'm a gamer, she's not. I've larped before, I know roleplaying. She's not a gamer, she's not a theater person, this is really her. Suspicions are confirmed several minutes later when the phone number she gives several other people is 1-800-fuck-off. And I'm asking myself, "Did what I think just happened actually happen?"

I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.

So now the decisions. I'm not particularly interested in Kerri. She's sweet, she's bright enough if not exceptional, and she's pretty but there's nothing that draws me to her. I'm not looking for a girlfriend at the moment, either in short or long term, but I wouldn't be upset if something came along provided the person understood where I was coming from, what I was able to handle, and where things would or would not go. If I ask someone out now it is because I like that person and want to get to know them, not to try and obtain a girlfriend. So am I interested in Kerri?

The answer is most definitely, and without a doubt: maybe.

The question now is should I go through and call her. If I don't I'm fairly certain she'll pass it off as asking for the number was part of the game, which it was. If I do, well I'd be willing to spend some time with her and see if anything develops. While I don't believe anyone owes anyone a date, I do believe in giving people a chance, especially if your borderline.

We shall see. I'll probably decide over the weekend, though feel free to chime in with advice.

In the meantime I intend to continue dressing well. I like the way it makes me feel and I'd like to try and integrate it more with who I am. Genghis, I think you're on to something.

And as long as I'm doing a post about roleplaying, here's Collapse )